Interview - Alpha Male Tea Party

    alpha male tea party

    With a penchant for Wieners, Alpha Male Tea Party get to the meat of why their debut album is tastier than flat sausage. Warning: may contain offensive language to vegetarians.

    You recently played Fort Perch Rock festival in New Brighton. Was this your first outdoor festival and what was it like?
    It was like the inside but outside and it smelt like sausages.

    How does playing an outdoor festival compare to playing an indoor gig?
    Kind of like playing inside but it smelt like sausage. To be honest it was in a tent, in a fort which was fortified by concrete so ‘outside’ is a loose term.

    You’ve just released your debut self-titled album. Could you tell us a bit about the album and where did the inspiration come from for the music?
    It’s taken about 2 years to write and record. We did it ourselves in our practice room and it was mixed a bit like sausage meat, just kind of ground together with a fist full of rusk and gristle. It took so long because Tom basically had to learn how to engineer while we were doing it. The inspiration came from analysing the front windows of several local butchers’ shops.

    Your song titles are very descriptive, how did you come up with the names for the songs?
    Most of them are complete nonsense as the titles are fairly arbitrary constructs anyway, what with us not having much in the way of lyrical content. They’re often developed while frequenting a lavatory. For the next record every song is going to be named after famous provincial German sausage manufacturers.

    Where did you record the music? What was it like getting the album recorded?

    Everything was recorded, mixed and mastered by ourselves. We like to maintain a sort of internalised sausage fest when we record music, something to do with the signs of the zodiac or something. But really, we thought ‘fuck it, we’ve got time, lets just do it ourselves’. So we did and it felt pretty normal and Tom came out the end of it looking quite pale.

    Who are your influences? Apart from Cliff Richard, who you mentioned on Facebook.
    We’re influenced by varying environmental factors such as scent, sight and sound from a multitude of sources. We’re particularly influenced by the sausagey fingers exhibited by Noel Gallagher, Dan says “He’s got a proper pack of Richmond’s going on there.” We’d like to BBQ his hands then write a song about it with no words.

    Your band name conjures images of Chuck Norris and Van Damme in Alice In Wonderland. Where did the name come from? Who is the true Alpha Male of the band and why?
    A lot of haters have been dissing our name recently and we’re all like ‘fuck the haters, we gonna pistol whip you and shit’. They be dissing it because they’ve got this weird idea that we all just sit around slapping each other with battered sausages, making c**k gags. Which we do. Dan is more Alpha Male than Tom or Greg simply because he’s bald and has a finely kempt beard.

    What is next for the band? What are your plans for the next year or so?
    Well, the band is really just the front end for our global sausage meat cartel and it’s likely that our cover will be blown and our stock piles of greasy pork meat will be found hiding underneath the ludicrous piles of digifile CD’s we’ve had made. We stupidly thought that CD cases would be a great way to smuggle raw meat about the place but we’ve since come to realise that no one likes flat sausages.

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